Tuesday, February 26, 2013

BRING ON THE WAIT!

 
 
 
Weight....Wait...more Weight...and Wait..... 
 
In the way of this culture I entered into marital bliss like a whirlwind. Although I was no longer working I was immediately a busy wife.  All the other roles still demanded some of me so I was busy juggling things and re-prioritizing.  My sister needed help with her new baby, my mothers health was poor and needed  her daughters attention. My best friend was getting married and at church the ministries I was committed to still needed me and now my husband and our marriage needed me.  Do you think I was gonna have time to pay attention to my weight? cuz you see, that's how I saw my weight dilemma; as a time consuming issue. 

Then, right in the middle of all my busyness I got a "fever"....not a terrible one, just a consuming one; "Baby Fever". The last thing on my list of concerns was my weight, I definitely stewed over my size...I did want a certain size.  Very soon I was "with child"  It was an incredible time.  4 weeks into pregnancy I was looking at myself sideways in the mirror looking for the "bump"  Any shreds of disciple or self control I was still clinging to went out the window.  I ate everything, all the time! I loved the weight gain! My belly was huge and I must confess, so was the backend.  In the last stretch of the pregnancy I was pretty tired, like all pregnant ladies ready to burst. I was feeling the baby weight and the extra weight.  In the end I had gained over 50lbs!  I never even flinched, well I flinched once when my husband came to an appt. with me and saw my weight. OUCH! His response was "jaw dropping to the ground" in astonishment. Then I flinched, and I retorted something like "its only baby weight".  He believed me and I believed me but the doctor knew better.  The only consolation or defense was that when our baby was born he weighed 10lbs 11oz.  Pretty big I'd say and so I consoled myself with that later.  Although later, when the weight didn't just fall off, you know like a towel dropping to the ground or when I couldn't just say "ok I'm done, I'll take this off now", like a heavy coat in a cozy room. It was a revelation to me pretty soon that I was gonna have to do something about the baby weight and the extra weight.  Oh how I longed for my "old average" size again.  I was overwhelmed at the extra weight on me and couldn't think of what to do.  I knew something had to be done.  Besides feeling uncomfortable I was also starting to feel insecure, like really insecure about what my husband and I looked like to other people.  That's when I developed this image of the "perfect 10" couple. He being thin would be the 1 and I being fat would be the 0. I was beginning to stress about get this extra weight off quick.

Well as much as I didn't want to do it, I had to, so I did.  I got on my second diet.  It was a shake diet.  Another fast losing tough diet.  And I did it, with exercise and dieting I lost all the weight, I had managed to shed the baby weight and the extra weight and I was back to my "thin average" size.  Of course my body was different now but I was looking pretty good.  Now my husband and I were gonna be odd 11. I was feeling pretty good cuz now I knew I just had to buckle down and diet and the weight would shed off in no time at all! For now I put away the shakes and relaxed with the exercise I was off restriction.

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