Friday, April 29, 2022

The Danger of Unresolved Issues

 


Unresolved issues can become so toxic that they will bring such despair and hopelessness in our lives and drive our destiny.


There are times when I’m reading my bible that I pass over tidbits of certain accounts without any real consideration, and many times they’re dramatic things. This is the case with Ahithophel in the bible.  This short account begins in the 11 chapter of 2 Samuel, it bothers me.


God's word doesn’t give me the complete backstory, but it gives me some facts to reckon with:

 

  • Ahithophel was employed under a monarchy, where one man's rule is sovereign. He was one of King David's trusted advisors- He could only come to this position by proving himself in knowledge and loyalty. He was loyal to David.


  • Ahithophel had a son, Eliam who was one of David's 30 mighty men. He was also Bathsheba's father.


  • Ahithophel's son in-law, Uriah was a gentile who believed in God and he was also  one of David's mighty men.


  • Ahithophel's granddaughter, Bathsheba married Uriah the faithful soldier of David's army.


  • Ahithophel was betrayed by King David- In a very humiliating fashion too! David abused his relationship with Ahithopel and abused his authority by taking Ahithophel's granddaughter and seducing her. The bible does say he was a handsome man, it is possible that Bathsheba was neglected and lonely? Another very possible scenario (my daughter pointed this one out) was that David might have sent his men to get her, bullying her into complying.


  • Ahithopel's grandson in-law is killed at David's command.


  • Ahithopel remained in his position as advisor to King David.



Oh my goodness, these facts landed so many speculations on top of me:


  • What kind of turmoil must have exploded in Ahithophel's mind and heart? However, nothing seemed to show outwardly. To find out that his granddaughter is pregnant, but not from her own husband? The king?! King David was the father!! What a horrible spot or stain had the king put on his family! What happened inside of him? Had he yearned for a great grandson?  Was there nobody to talk to? 


  • As he’s trying to process this, he finds out that his grandson in-law is killed in battle. Being a trusted and high advisor he must have known that Uriah's death was unnecessary, it was a weak strategic military strategy that killed this soldier, why?


  • Then, his granddaughter's mourning period is barely done when King David says he will marry her! Maybe nobody would know she had committed adultery, nobody needed to know the details of this marriage. She married King David, became queen and had the baby. Within days he dies. Where was God in all of this? Again I wonder, was there nobody to talk to?



After this, Ahithophel disappears into the rest of the story only to appear as a traitor to the king. (2 Sam. 15:12) Absolom must have seen the hate Ahithopel had for his father. Absolom must have known about the adultery and betrayal. Absolom preyed upon Ahithopels unresolved issues and Ahithopel preyed upon Absalom's unresolved issues. Hurt people, really do hurt people. 




All the pent up emotions and unresolved issues culminated in his desire for revenge. The opportunity to destroy David had come. He wanted to humiliate David as he and his family had been humiliated. His life meant nothing if he could not avenge himself and hurt David. David was hurt by Ahithophel and shocked at his betrayal.  He had lost the kingdom, but it wasn’t enough for Ahithophel, unforgiveness and hate drove him.

 

Ahithopel and Absalom were intent on destroying the king, they cared nothing for one another, nor did they trust each other. Absalom didn’t care for Ahithophel’s counsel so he took another advisor's counsel. Another blow to Ahithopel. Not only had David shamed him, now his son had also.  It was the last straw. Ahithopel, went home and got his affairs in order. He felt hopeless, worthless and without vision. Ahithophel committed suicide by hanging himself!


What?! One of God's chosen people, one with a place of prominence, found no resolution to the terrible circumstances that kept attacking him. An ugly situation that continued to spread like cancer, attacking the heart. Had he even gone to God about the issues? Actually, this question applies to all the parties involved.


It seems that when a person experiences disillusionment and thinks he has no outlet, no way to unpack all the broken situations his mind goes to those dark places. Suicide is a demon spirit that tries to seduce a person through hurts. Then comes continual bitterness, unforgiveness, blindness, anger, rage, isolation, defeat, discouragement and more. 


Ahithophel’s tragic end is a tough true story to read. In God's kingdom we do not have to be alone, God makes a way through his word and through his people, Don’t allow the devil to bully you into those dark places and make you believe you are all alone. If he has, call upon the name of the Lord and you shall be saved. 








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