The Road Map of Parenting
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| My son Thomas and I enjoying a break at our Church VBS event |
My husband and I have recently returned from a road trip from San Diego Ca to Jaffrey, New Hampshire. Everytime time Ben asked me to check ahead on the road map, it wasn’t easy for me and I impatiently wondered why he didn’t just wait for Siri to give him instructions, it’s so much easier. Ben was very frustrated, he kept his eyes on the road and waited for me to navigate through all the little lines which represented interstates and roads, we felt the tension. And so it is with parenting adult children, trying to navigate through all the intricate unseen roads and blocks is hard.
Mission Accomplished
We’ve been married 34 years and raised 4 kids. We prayed for their well being, trained them through God's word and led them into independence. Mission accomplished, yet here I am still writing about parenting. Now that we are on the empty nester path, enjoying the quieter, slower life, we’re always glad to have our noisy kids and grandkids near us.
Parenting your adult children is like a “virtual” experience. We enjoy their “adultness” basking in their friendships, all the while seeing their choices, habits and experiences from an outside perspective. It’s sometimes hard to do, especially when the only thing we can do is pray. We stay ready and available and hopeful that they might need us, yet we also know that no amount of advice, meddling or rescuing them will do what God can do His way and in His timing.
Psalms 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.
Our youngest, Thomas, he’s 21 and working hard at complete independence. I see him a lot less now. He’s looking for a better paying job that will sustain him and a family, which means he’s praying for a wife, he wants to have his own family and asking God to help him. Which also means that he will one day cleave to his wife and his wife to him. Meanwhile, thankfully, he’s enjoying the blessings of having a loving family to enjoy with us, his siblings and nephews and nieces.
Our newly wed son, Emery is enjoying his beautiful young wife and they are thriving in work, ministry and at home. They are busy, busy, sometimes so busy that I worry I won’t see them, and then I’m thankful when I do.
Our daughter; Daniella, has her hands full with her 3 sons. Busy with homeschooling,homemaking and many Cricut projects. With all that busyness, she forgets about us, ouch! I’m always relieved and glad when she remembers her old mom and dad and makes a space for us in her life.
Our first born, Jonathan, has been adulting seriously since he was 19. When he moved out, the void he left in our home and my life was almost unbearable for a while, but God helped me and I adjusted and he persevered. He’s 33 now and he’s a busy man. A plumber by trade, a pastor by calling and a husband and father for over 11 years. Yes he’s busy. Mom and dad can easily be forgotten, but thankfully he chooses to honor us. I only feel the stinge of his absence for short moments. Well, it’ll be different when he leaves for Bolivia on a missionary assignment, then he, my beautiful daughter in law and our 5 grandchildren will really leave a void in our lives for a season.
It seems that I’m really not needed anymore, at least for their physical needs, and it is as it should be, but it hurts to feel unneeded. Sometimes it takes a lot of intentional thinking to remember that just because they don’t need me physically, they do need me spiritually. I must keep praying for them, the bible tells me so, and I rest in it.
Ben and I are so pleased to see our adult children choosing The Narrow Path to navigate through life. It helps us to rest as parents, knowing that Jesus will lead them to true success. Thankfully, just because they don’t need us for everything, or even for most things, they do want us in their lives.
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